In the words of the great Lady Swift,

One night he wakes

Strange look on his face

Pauses, then says

You’re my best friend

And you knew what it was

He is in love

You can hear it in the silence, silence, you

You can feel it on the way home, way home, you

You can see it with the lights out, lights out

You are in love, true love

I regret to inform Mr. Bridgerton that he is no longer merely down bad. He is in love.

Let us study his affliction further, through the lens of Season 3, Episode 5:

• He can literally sense when she stops walking behind him and then circles back to retrieve her like the invisible string that tethers them began tugging at his heart with the distance. I’ve had enough and part 2 has barely begun, but okay.
• The camera angles this season are giving vertigo vibes
• I could feel Violet’s hug through the screen. Healed something in me.
• RIP Eloise Bridgerton, you would have loved Xanax or maybe Wellbutrin
• “How long have you had feelings for him?” UMMMMMM. For a family obsessed with love matches Colin and Eloise really do not know how to catch a vibe
• What is the sequin budget on this show? It must rival the glitter budget on Euphoria.
• DID ANYONE ELSE ABSOLUTELY LOSE THEIR LUNCH OVER THE CREEPY TITLE SEQUENCE???? I didn’t realize I was watching a horror film.
• Lady Danbury being happy for Polin is a type of serotonin money can’t buy.
• Anthony is really in this carriage inhaling the (pregnancy) hormones as per usual
• I love that Gregory’s storyline this season is just “arm”
• Colin is so relaxed when he tells Anthony the news. Someone spiked that man’s punch with loooOooOOove. He’s not even nervous about what his brothers are going to say/do about it.
• Eloise being jealous of Colin because she loves Penelope is good for my health.
• PERHAPS!!! I HAVE ALWAYS FELT SOMETHING FOR HER. Colin Bridgerton get behind me. I will defend you with my life.
• Babe, your only foolishness is not realizing a LOT of things sooner.
• Brothers bullying brothers to talk to women about their feelings? Welcome to Utopia. In this world, there are no more wars.
• Portia not being happy about Colin Bridgerton? Dystopia. RIP Portia Featherington you would have loved The Hunger Games.
• Sorry, I have to pause here to get an “I AM STILL SPEAKING” tattoo on the inside of my lip and down the side of my neck as well.
• Penelope is the most eligible amongst you. Yee, and I cannot stress this enough, HAW!
• OUR!!! BRIDGERTON!!! NAME!!! (Taylor Swift voice) THAT’S MY MANNNN
• The pride on his face when he says “this is to be our home.” Colin Bridgerton, I love you like a son. (Just kidding. I know the mirror scene is coming so I am legally obligated to redact that statement.) Colin Bridgerton, I love you like a [redacted].
• My boy really said “there aren’t any staff… and we are getting married…” COLIN BRIDGERTON REALLY SAID SOCIETY RULES GET OUT MY FACE!!
• He will always stand up for her. Because because because because he LOVES her.
• Poor baby Penelope’s face!!!!! SHE IS SO CONFUSED!!!!! She has never experienced unblemished love before and it makes me want to die.
• “Are you sure?” Eloise let me get that Xanax I prescribed you earlier.
• Colin Bridgerton: Regency Era Hype Man.
• Cleverest! Bravest! You make me feel seen.
• Colin: “You are so beautiful.” Me, watching at home through my screen: “Oh wow thank you… so much.”
• Sorry, taking a brief intermission to scream into my pillow. If you need to see my literal reaction to this scene feel free to watch it here.
• I shouldn’t even be here rn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• I think building security thought something terrible and uncouth was happening in my office during the Tudum event. I kept turning down the sound and little Pen just kept getting louder…
• Anthony Bridgerton is a trophy wife in his satin robe in the middle of the day while his wife grows their heir in her belly and plans the betrothal. I love it for him.
• Kate would have been a baller therapist.
• Eloise Bridgerton is feeling so lonely that if she was a 2024 girly I think this is the scene where she would have downloaded Hinge. Terrifying.
• “But you are my mess.” The way that they look at each other needs to be studied by NASA. Not sure why. Just think it would be fun and hot of NASA to do that and let me know what they find.
• If you can’t handle him at his brothel scene, you don’t deserve him at his NOTHING COMPARES TO THIS!!!!!!
• Pen roasting him about the woman in Paris is such a hot girl flex.
• Queen Charlotte would have loved sending Deux Moi emails saying “Anon pls!!”
• I can’t believe how hot they look in this carriage. They should have filmed this whole season inside of carriages.
• THEY’RE DISCUSSING LW and then this man goes OH WHAT DO YOU WISH TO TELL ME. If this man doesn’t put two and two together, it feels like it’s on him at this point.
• Colin Bridgerton is writing Penelope fanfiction. You can’t fact check me.
• Colin talking about Eloise and Pen’s friendship is making me emosh. Not only is their friendship so sweet, COLIN! REMEMBERS! EVERYTHING!
• Get this LW Reward card out of my face, rn! Let me just enjoy this moment.
• Cressida’s eyes are giving the performance of a lifetime. Like why am I crying in the club rn?!
• Colin Bridgerton really put the fear of God in Portia Featherington.
• What are the girls snacking on? I thought it was fruit but it was making a crunching noise. I need to know expeditiously.
• Lady Danbury is Gregory’s style icon, he would die to go into her hat closet.
• Colin Bridgerton is so goo-goo-gah-gah as soon as he sees her that he doesn’t even flinch at Portia.
• Colin really said I’m so happy Cressida is here so you can DUNK on her.
• Lady Danbury and Violet are Penelope stans. Wise women, indeed.
• Lady Danbury was gonna chuck Lord Anderson off the balcony but she didn’t want him to fall on Penelope. She’s too small. She’d be squished.
• Who is more obsessed with Penelope? Eloise? Or Colin?
• Anthony really got Kate pregnant and immediately started working on his dad jokes. He was born for this.
• Colin really said I’M A BLESSED BOY!!!! DRAG ME THROUGH THE MUD. I LOVE MY WIFE!!!
• I’m so glad Colin was born in the regency era. If he was a modern man he’d waste these public speaking skills on telling mildly racist jokes at open mic comedy spots.
• Eloise making a toast, reminding us of her PHD in Messy Girl Studies but luckily her professor, Portia Featherington, was there to save the day.
• This whole game of charades made me feel like English may not be my first language. I’ve never heard a word in my life, actually.
• Eloise and Penelope really going soulmate mode in front of Colin during charades.
• Poor Anthony wants to win something so bad. Someone give him a biscuit and a kiss on the cheek.
• Remember when those sweaters had the word “Empathy” in colorful letters were all the rage?! Eloise wouldn’t be caught dead in an empathy sweater.
• Fran is such a little lover girl. I wanna give her a forehead kiss and tuck her in for a nap.
• Puppy Colin looking everywhere for Pen!!!! Some things never change.
• SO!! MANY!! THINGS!! HAPPENING!! IN!! SCENE!! Penelope panic attack. Eloise trying to rat her out. Anthony “Call Me Papa” Bridgerton has arrived on the scene. Cressida is LW?! And Colin is very much still just like, “Okay but like… do you still like me?” Love my needy king.

Until next time,

Lady Recap