Colin Bridgeton is Down Bad Crying at the Gym: A Season 3, Episode 1 Recap

To the untrained eye, it may seem like Penelope Featherington is the pinnacle of pining but if you turn a careful eye to Colin Bridgerton, you’ll realize he, too, is in absolute shambles long before they even touch lips.

Join me for the deepest of dives into the mind of Colin Bridgerton in Bridgerton’s Season 3 Premiere: “Out of the Shadows”

• Colin exits the carriage after his months-long study abroad program. Almost instantly, he glances over at the Featherington estate, clearly looking for someone specific before he’s even finished greeting his family. I wonder who…
• He is wandering around alone after the presentation in the garden. As soon as he sees her, he makes a beeline towards her. He tells her it feels like it’s been YEARS and not months. When they speak of change, he shows off his new clothes to her — he is DESPERATE, on his hands and knees begging for her validation.
• When Colin is handing out everyone’s gifts, he takes this opportunity to sideline with Eloise about Penelope. He does not understand how Eloise can survive without Pen because, spoiler alert, he cannot.
• Here’s the one that prompted me to make this list: When he’s drinking with his brothers at the club, Anthony commends Colin on his many new suitors. Colin who has been checked out for the whole scene says, “I’m not certain that that should cheer me.” He is a SAD BOY because he KNOWS Penelope is icing him out. He’s garnered the favor of the women of his ton and by extension, the men (including his brothers). But all he really wants is Penelope’s favor.
• When he sees Penelope’s new dress at the ball, that man laid eyes on her and had to quench his literal thirst by taking a big swig of his lemonade. It’s like he’s playing a Penelope Featherington drinking game all by himself.
• He chases her out, in spite of his friend’s objections. And I think we all have this scene memorized: Charming dress! The color rather suits you! You are not a (laughs at the absurdity) spinster! Is something wrong, Pen, between us?! I wrote to you this summer, as I always do! If you are going to make me say it out loud, I miss you!!!!! (Present tense even though she is standing directly in front of him… sickening.) AND THE FACE he makes when she accuses him of being embarrassed of her — he wants to die that she thinks that.
• The next day he rushes over to apologize because it PAINS him to see her upset. He seeks her out at every social assembly! She changes the way he sees the world!! She is CLEVER AND WARM. (Platonically, of course. None of the aforementioned behavior is romantic.)
• It’s HIS idea to help her find a husband. He wants to have private tutoring lessons which we know often take place alone and unchaperoned. And he wants her to practice her flirting on him?! Okay, babe. Chill out.
• Finally, they close with a handshake. Totally frienly. Totally normal. Nothing to see here. Not sure why he’s holding her hand and staring at it like he’s never felt human flesh before. But don’t worry guys, they’re totally just friends. Nothing to see here, yet.

And to make matters worse, it only gets more chaotic in Episode 2.